All girls dream of a prince on a white horse, boys dream of a beautiful princess. Of course, this is just a fairy tale reference, life is much more prosaic. However, somewhere deep in the subconscious remains the desire to find an ideal partner. And the idea that you have of him, somehow, does not correspond to the people you meet in life. In reality, next to us there will be a normal person, with his advantages and disadvantages; the ideal will probably remain unattainable. There are several signs that suggest that a relationship is quite normal and natural.
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Table of Contents
Coincidence of views on life
Once again we can think of the beautiful phrase “opposites attract”. In reality, the members of a relationship should want more or less the same things. This applies as much to their outlook on life and the world around them (it's stupid to fight in the family over politics) and to long-range personal plans: buying a house and a car, having children, the focus of education. It will be difficult to keep the peace if one of the partners trusts homeopathy completely and the other believes in the scientific approach and traditional medicine. On the other hand, there are times when a man likes to camp out and play guitar by the fire, while a woman prefers a cozy bed and a warm bath before bed. It's premature to call it a disaster: there are no 100% matches, and different interests are acceptable within the same framework of giving yourself privacy.
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Personal space can only be given to the other if there is absolute trust and mutual understanding in the couple. However, these are fundamental to a healthy relationship. Jealousy means love. Jealousy is based precisely on mistrust, suspicion and a feeling of possession. If you start rummaging through your partner's pockets, reading their mail hoping to find something juicy in there, something is amiss in the relationship.
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Right to privacy
It is no coincidence that, after living together for a while, men begin to literally demand personal space. Women, even if they don't know it, try to control their lover's time and thoughts. Personal space is necessary and so is everyone's. It is the only place where you can create a free atmosphere, where there is room for something other than an overwhelming relationship. The creation of a couple by two people does not mean that they have to be inseparable all day and night, share common interests and go everywhere together.
Give everyone a chance to be alone at least once in a while, meet up with friends, spend time on hobbies, or just go for a walk. And some healthy couples even vacation separately. This type of separation can be an original way to strengthen the relationship.
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Equal contribution to the relationship
It is said of some couples that one member loves and the other allows himself to be loved. Some people think that this is how relationships are built. But in the end, while one sacrifices everything, the other only collects the rewards without noticing the efforts of his partner. There is even an opinion that it is the woman who should work in the relationship, creating her own “home climate”. Conflicts must be ironed out, compromises must be reached by both parties.
It sounds too pathetic to say that relationships are hard daily work on the part of both partners. Ideally, things would happen naturally. But if it's just one person working on it, that's also an exaggeration.
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Often the fights in the couple arise from the stage: "I made it up, I was offended." You should not overlook the problem, sometimes your partner, even the most guessing, has no idea what is on your mind. Refusing to dialogue does not contribute to a healthy relationship. An important principle of a good family and a long and happy life is precisely the ability to communicate with each other and find compromises. This applies as much to discussing trivial delays at work (you can explain your anxiety instead of making a fuss) and planning global things.
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Partners do not try to change the other
People are often dissatisfied with their partner, and this is observed regardless of their gender. Perpetual grievances translate into attempts to change the person to fit one's own patterns. At first it starts with appearance and wardrobe, which is understandable, but later it can turn into a matter of changing character traits. The woman wants her husband to be more responsible and he wants her to be more obedient.
But everyone has long known that such attempts to "break" an adult will end in fiasco. It is easier to find someone who suits you initially than to try to change someone who is initially a stranger to you, making him and you unhappy.
Feeling of security
Security plays an important role in relationships. It does not only apply to the physical realm, but also to the emotional one. Many people continue to believe that a woman should distrust her husband, the head of the family. Hence the jokes about the woman scratching the car or spending too much money, which made the man angry. The pranksters advise that the situation be respected and that the scandal not be aggravated by hiding the truth. In fact, the presence of fear in a relationship is bad in principle. There is nothing normal about it.